I should be an Idol judge.

I'm sure I've said this before, but I'm a reality TV show junkie. So, there's no way that I missed the first live performances of the ladies on American Idol tonight.

Ryan Seacrest started the show off by asking Simon if he really thought this season was going to be a year for the ladies. Although I tend to agree with you Simon, I'm sorry, but this time I don't. I was only impressed with a handful of the top 12 girls. These are the ones that I approve of... so far, anyway.

Janell Wheeler sang "What About Love" by Heart. And even though she didn't sing it spectacular, there's something about her that I like. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the Spice Girls are her among her musical influences. Either way, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she makes it through.

Katelyn Epperly sang "Fixing a Hole" by The Beatles. Maybe I'm being biased in liking her since she's an Iowa native, but I think the girl has an awesome voice. Sorry my descriptions aren't better. I don't know much about music and vocals and notes and ranges and all the rest of that stuff that Kara always talks about. But I do know a good singer when I hear one, at least to my liking, and Katelyn definitely fits my taste.

*Side note: Ellen's video of Simon touching her leg at the beginning of the show was genius. Loved it! Way to make your spot with the judges-- I approve.

Okay, so about this Siobhan Magnus chick. She has a good voice, maybe even a really good voice. But she's creppy. I don't know, there's just something about her that scares me a bit. Plus, her favorite male artist is Hanson. Really?

Crystal Bowersox did Alanis Morissette proud. I like that deep, rocker, somewhat harsh voice and she so has that. And "Hand in my Pocket," the song she sang, may be one of my favorites. High five to Crystal, you did good.

Way to end the show, Katie Stevens. She's cute, fun and I was not expecting that voice to come out of her.

And, that's it. No girls gave me goosebumps. None of them are quite Kelly Clarkson, my all time favorite Idol and singer EVER! Or Allison Iraheta, my favorite from last season of Idol, who-- on a side note-- will be performing on the show on Thursday! But the girls of this season aren't bad. I look forward to hearing what else they have. And to what the guys have to show off tomorrow night.

Result show is on Thursday. The bottom two girls and two guys will be sent home. We'll see how well my judging is! :)

-Josie Jones

Bazinga!

I am a huge geek. Though you don’t know this yet because I’m new at the DI and because I’m an unobtrusive 5’1’’ Asian girl who likes pretty dresses, fashion blogs, and Gossip Girl. I am, even if I can’t play Mass Effect II to save my life. I spent my high school years shuttling between my regular school and a magnet Math, Science, and Technology program for the “gifted.” I rejoice every new Apple announcement. I wrote for a (now defunct) women’s tech blog. I would much rather watch a Star Wars marathon than go see that new Twilight guy movie.

Now an English/Econ major, the Java Programming classes and world-champion robotics team days are behind me and my inner-nerd rarely has a chance to come out. This is why Monday nights are special. No, not football, but rather the geeky hilarity of The Big Bang Theory, a CBS series about a (sadly fictitious) group of awkward, Caltech prodigies and their hot neighbor/waitress/friend/love-interest.

The main reason I love this show is the amazing Sheldon Cooper. Played by the talented Jim Parsons, Sheldon is exceedingly arrogant, ridiculously idiosyncratic, and downright condescending. He has an extensive knowledge of everything from theoretic physics (his profession) to the Marvel Comic universe (his passion). Yet Sheldon often behaves like needy child with no sense of social protocol. In other words, Sheldon Cooper might be the funniest character on television (perhaps with the exception of HIMYM’s Barney Stinson, but that’s another post entirely).

Some fun Sheldon Cooper facts:

1. He likes to be tucked into bed when he’s sick.


2. Sheldon’s fond of his “classic practical jokes” always ending with the catchphrase Bazinga!


3. The actor playing Sheldon, Jim Parsons, is amazingly talented. Case-in-point, this call-to-action video:


- Alyssa Marchetti

New York Fashion Week in Review

I’m not sure how this happened, but somehow New York Fashion Week has come and gone without my knowledge! This pivotal week in fashion kicked off on Thursday, Feb. 11^th with designers such as L.A.M.B. and BCBG Max Azria. Classic designers such as Ralph Lauren, Calvin Klein, and Tommy Hilfiger wrapped up the fashion-filled week yesterday. This event is a pretty big deal because it consists of the world’s most successful designers gathering in one place and previewing their collections for the next season. The past week was the last time that the event will be held at the iconic Bryant Park location; the new venue for New York’s Fall Fashion week will be the Lincoln Center in New York City.

For me, NYC Fashion Week offers many things:

1. CLOTHES

2. Shoes!

3. Up-and-coming makeup and hair trends

4. Attractive male models

5. An opportunity to judge runway models, simultaneously mourning the fact that I don’t work out enough yet celebrating the fact that I love food.

6. Practice visualizing what I would do if I had kajillions of dollars to spend on things like clothes.

Here is a glance at some of my favorite looks from the past week’s runways!

Christian Siriano

I loved Christian when he won the fourth season of Bravo’s television show “Project Runway,” and I love his collection that showed at Fashion week last Friday. It features dark, cool colors, such as black, midnight blue, and plum. Hair and makeup for his show featured old-Hollywood waves with bold lips and brows.

This is my favorite look for his collection. The contrast between the structured jacket and the feminine, sparkly jacket is “fierce,” as Siriano himself would say.

Marc Jacobs

Marc Jacobs collection this year mixes structured, military pieces in neutral grays and greens with lighter, more theatrical pieces.

This is one of my favorite pieces from his new collection. I love the neutral plaid print with bright blue accents. The adorable shorts seem like an effortless wardrobe piece that would be perfect for spring!

Marc Jacobs used barely any denim in this collection, so this dress definitely stood out. Denim dresses are going to be big as soon as the weather warms up. Maybe I will buy this dress instead of textbooks for next year.

DKNY

DKNY’s show this season is all about prints. Plaids and geometric prints ruled the runway show that took place on Valentine’s Day. I think this is appropriate, because I adore this collection. Elements of the collection include school uniform-inspired skirts and socks, menswear inspired heels, metallic accents, and ribbons. Need I say more? I thought not.

My favorite look for the collection was a shift dress with a collage of various patterns and textures. Check out the ribbons that tie around the waist! Excellent. Models for the show rocked loosely pulled back hair and makeup in neutral browns. Note the super edgy blue nails. Love it!

Vera Wang

Oh, geez. Vera Wang, you have possibly created my favorite collection for this spring’s Fashion Week. The designer, who is known for wedding gowns, combined textures such as leather, feathers, and mesh to create one classy collection.

Look at the texture on this dress! I love the contrast that the belt creates. It’s delicate, yet edgy. If by some miracle I ever owned this dress, I would probably wear it 24/7. Class, bed, Burge cafeteria—you get the idea.

Sophie Theallet

I decided to check out a designer that I had never heard of before, and I fell upon Sophie Theallet. Her collection that showed at Fashion Week is inspired by bright punches of color and a peasant vibe. Every model had on tan, brown, or black boots. Not every look was one I would want to work, but I like this collection because it’s different.

I love the casual, grunge-chic look of this outfit. The boots are pretty fabulous as well.

If I ever come across a large (large, LARGE) inheritance or win the lottery, you may see some of these clothes walking down the T. Anne Clearly Walkway.

--Marisa Way

Frat Boy with Fresh Beats

Most college students feel like their plates are full to the brim with classes, jobs, extra-curricular activities, and a sanity-maintaining social life. Some of us are spending weekends studying at the library, and others dancing on tables at Union. However, there are few (if any) of us balancing a double life as student and recording artist. 2010 has been off to a successful start for musician Mike Posner (on left in photo.) His debut EP, "Cooler Than Me," was released on January 29, 2009. The senior at Duke University with majors in business and sociology, and a member of Sigma Nu Fraternity, manages to squeeze in performances across the country on weekends. The singer/songwriter’s music track began around age 13, and within the last couple of years he collaborated with artists like Kid Cudi and 3oh!3. He also released three mixtapes, “Reflections of a Lost Teen,” “A Matter of Time” and “One Foot Out the Door.” I think the most impressive thing about Posner is that he has remained a student throughout this rapid success. In an interview with MTV News, he said he “wanted to be an example for people out there, that you finish things that you start." Posner’s college experience acted as inspiration for the music on his EP which has an eclectic feel. With a voice that has a“pop” feel (I mean this as a complement), surrounded by hip-hop and electronic beats, his sound is unlike others. He fuses pop and hip-hop together, widening the scope of his audience. Posner’s music is spreading like wildfire. I am interested how quickly his name will be on everyone’s lips, especially after he finishes school and can dedicate even more time to this talent.

Listen to: "Cooler Than Me"

-Hannah Kramer

Live on Men's Short Program, The Olympics.

The battle of Plushenko/Weir against the world.

Who will win in the battle of grace, artistic ability, and glamour?

While we wait, here's some background information for the figure skating neophytes.

Plushenko

Full name: Evgeni Plushenko

Birth: November 3, 1982

Height: 5 ft 10 inches

Origin: Russia

Weapon of choice: The footwork

Gold count: 2006 Winter Olympics

three time World Champion

six time European Champion

four time Grand Prix Final

eight time Russian National Champion

Weir

Full name: Johnny Weir

Birth: July 2, 1984

Height: 5 ft. 9 inches

Origin: Pennsylvania, United States

Weapon of choice: The costume

Gold count: three time U.S National Champion

2008 Worlds bronze medalist

two time Grand Prix Final medalist

2001 World Junior Champion

It goes a little like this:

7:00 - French skater, Florent Amodio, 19 years old - abandoned in the streets and contracted a disease, but now a successful skater from practicing in public skating rinks.

Figure skating sure pulls on the heartstrings.

Florent Amodio's Results

Total: 75.35

7:11 -

Viktor Pfeifer, Austria, the definition of eloquence on ice... and a mouth like Stephen Tyler.

I heard this song in Currier the other day...

Total: 60.88

7:16 - Plushenko video life story.

Plushenko, the Chad Michaels of the Olympics.

"I skate for fun, I have all the titles already."

Commerial break Figure skating factoids brought to you by wikipedia:

The toe jump:

1. Toe loops take off from the back outside edge of the right foot and are launched by the left toe pick (toe walleys are similar, but take off from the back inside edge of the right foot);
2. Flips, which take off from the back inside edge of the left foot and are launched by the right toe pick;
3. Lutzes, which take off from the back outside edge of the left foot and are launched by the right toe pick.

The edge jump:

1. Salchows, (pronounced sow - cow) which take off from a left back inside edge. Allowing the edge to come round, the opposite leg helps launch the jump into the air and land on one foot;
2. Loops (also known as Rittberger jumps) take off from a right back outside edge and land on the same edge;
3. Axels, which are the only rotating jump to take off from a forward edge (the left outside edge). Because they take off from a forward edge, they include one-half extra rotations and are usually considered the hardest jump of the six.

7:22- Vaught Chipeur, Canada. Loves rock'n'roll music and skates the same way, Oh Canada...

Takes a fall on the first jump, Come on Canada.

Throwing in some Riverdance on ice... His technique needs to be refined a little.

Total: 60.88

7:28 - Plushenko, Russia, the mullet.

I see black leather and glitter. This is going to be good.

Plushenko, the legend of ice and nailing all of his jumps.

Flawless performance.

Total: 90.85

Definitely setting the bar high.

7:38 - "Plushenko's work is slam dunk and slam bad." Thanks Dick Button.

This wins gold:

8:00 - Break time. NBC is switching off to snowboarding and the other wonderful winter sports.

Reflections on Two Men in the Media

Why I Dislike John Mayer

A general rule of respect for loved ones and former flames is to keep private things private especially if you’re a huge star and saying it to a Rolling Stone’s reporter.

Mayer must have missed this memo. When he talked about his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson he said the following.

“That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me... Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm...

“There are people in the world who have the power to change our values. Have you ever been with a girl who made you want to quit the rest of your life? Did you ever say, "I want to quit my life and just fuckin' snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to fuck you, I would start selling all my shit just to keep fucking you.”

Mayer also mentioned how porn isn’t deep enough for him and how he dreams of one day writing porn. He also mentioned how Jennifer Anniston didn’t understand Twitter and thought it was a distraction. His reasons for their breakup, as he said it, he needed to be 32.

Jenny McCarthy had it right when she tweeted, “Any chick celeb that drops her pants for John Meyer now must be A. Desperate B. Have a raging STD. C. As dumb as nails. D. All of above.”

I couldn’t agree more.

Why I Love Apolo Ohno

The short track speed skater celebrity seems humble and driven. Both qualities I admire.

On Saturday, Ohno won his sixth Olympic medal when he achieved a silver in the 1500-meter race. He could go on to be the most decorated winter Olympian if he wins more races. The 2010 Olympics are Ohno’s third.

Besides being a hotshot athlete, Ohno has an admirable life attitude. I follow him on Twitter and find myself in awe reading his tweets.

These are a few of his tweets:

“Good morning! I wake up feeling that the impossible means nothing-there is no limits, have no fears, & of course: reach for the unreachable.”

“Do not ask if you will win or lose. that is not your account, rather, 2 carry the struggle further is what is important. I have no regrets.”

“I am ready. No regrets, No fears, no hesitation. Enjoying every minute. I'll give my all for USA. And smile every step of the way. :-)”

I don’t know if it’s the joy of seeing the mind of a strong Olympic athlete or the way he seems so poised and humbled: Either way Ohno is my favorite.

By Sarah Larson

CD REVIEW: Lil Wayne - Rebirth

Lil Wayne should have never given birth to this mess.
Rating: * out of *****

Lil Wayne has outdone himself this time. Not only did the rapper best known for auto tune drenched club numbers such as “Lollipop” and “Got Money” make what is likely to be the worst CD of 2010 with Rebirth – he also may have made one of the worst rock albums of all time.

After numerous delays, one can only wonder why no one told Lil Wayne this whole thing was a bad idea. The producer of this album must be getting a huge chunk of change have his name associated with this abomination, because even all of the production tricks in the world cannot save it.

First off, Lil Wayne can’t sing. All of his vocals on the album are either heavily distorted, loaded with auto tune effects, or a combination of both. Sure there are plenty of rock musicians that get away without being able to really sing, but this is terrible. If his voice sounds like this after studio-magic is applied, then it’s even harder to imagine Lil Wayne being able to pull off any of these songs live.

As far as actual songwriting goes, the lyrics to the tracks “American Star” and “Da Da Da” read like something found scribbled in a wannabe rapper’s high school notebook.

And if the poor vocal performance wasn’t enough, Rebirth is full of riffs that sound like they were regurgitated from the blandest of ‘90s rock acts (“Get a Life” is basically dumbed-down ska and “Knockout” sounds like uninspired Blink 182). With the critical acclaim and riches that followed Tha Carter III, you would think Lil Wayne could afford some top-notch session guitarists.

So after all of this bitching, you may ask, why give any stars to such a bad record? Well, it takes balls to try something new in the world of popular music, and for that, Lil Wayne deserves some credit.

However, instead of trying to sing, maybe he should have thought about bringing in guest musicians to rap with, à la rock collaborations of old, such as Run D.M.C. and Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way,” or Public Enemy and Anthrax’s “Bring the Noise.” This would have made for a more unique listening experience and it would be cool to see artists who can actually write rock riffs and sing work with the rapper (it’s not that far out there to imagine this happening, when a guitarist like Slash is performing with Fergie on tour).

Lil Wayne even went as far to get the members of KoЯn to appear in the music video for the laughable first-single, “Prom Queen,” so why couldn’t he get them to contribute to one of the songs on the album? Even though KoЯn’s relevance in the current music scene is questionable, it seems like the band would be a good fit for the rapper’s over-the-top style (and frontman Jonathan Davis even recorded a cover of a Lil Wayne’s “Got Money”).

Maybe it’s a good thing that Lil Wayne will be spending some time in jail on gun possession charges – the rapper will be able to reflect on what went wrong with Rebirth and start thinking about what he can do on Tha Carter IV to make up for this mess.

Live on the Super Bowl 2010

The girl, the guy, and the gay will be giving you live commentary on the game of year. The guy is Ben Mcfarlane and he will be informing the world on what the heck is going on in the game, the girl is Hanna Rosman and she will be giving pop culture insight on the game, and the gay is Michael Marquez and he will be commenting on anything that goes on inside his head.

Game Prediction:

Ben: Colts

Score: 35 - 24

Michael:

Colts, "because Payton is on the team."

Hanna

"Yes."

5:00 -

Ben: "I don't understand why Jay-Z is here."

Hanna: "This is super intense. Jay-Z and Rihanna makes this seem like the beginning of the Grammy's than a sports game."

Michael: "I think the Super Bowl should have themes and they can all dress up in costumes. I think this game's theme should be dinosaurs and all of the fans can dress as dinosaurs and the football can have a dinosaur on it."

Ben: "With real or animatronic dinosaurs?"

Michael: "Both."

5:04 -

Hanna: "There is so much math for a sports game."

5:09 -

Sport montage -

Hanna: I can't hear what their saying!

Michael: So it's an angel versus a promiscuous horse?

Ben: Look at Drew Brees' birthmark!

5:12 -

Michael: I don't think Solomon Wilcots should have a patterned shirt with a patterned tie.

Ben: Dwight Freeney is fucked.

Hanna: ...Yes... Who's Dwight Freeney?

Ben: Dwight Freeney is a defensive lineman for the Colts. He's known for his speed and his ankle is injured, thus he is fucked.

5:15 -

Michael: It's been so long since I've watched TV that I don't know what commercials are new.

5:16 -

Michael: Aaah, football is so punny.

Hanna: The trophy looks like it is made out of chocolate.

Ben: Brian Waters wins! The Chiefs never win anything!

Michael: I love Queen Latifah!

Hanna: Yeah. She's pretty talented. Love her in Chicago.

5:20 -

Ben: Carrie Underwood. Finally. Michael was making me feel left out.

Hanna: That guy is crying. He loves America.

5:23- Coin Toss Predictions

Ben: Tails

Michael: Tails never fails

Hanna: Heads, so somebody in the prediction can be right.

5:26 - The coin toss

Hanna: So many people being introduced that I don't know...

Ben: Hey! I know that guy! Look at that guy's beard!

The toss: Head.

Hanna: I win!

5:30 -

Michael: Guys! Let's listen to it in Spanish!

Hanna: They just made the movie sound! the neeeeeerrrruuu! sound.

Ben: Football!

Ben's beginning insights into football at 5:32-

Ben: Fullback dive? You start the Super Bowl with a Fullback dive? I'm going to go back in time and slap someone's mother.

Whenever I see a little, old white guy in a Saints uniform I think of Morton Andersen.

Hanna: Football players sure know how to dance.

Michael: Dallas Clark is attractive. See here.

5:37 -

Michael: Football players are accidental gymnasts! I didn't know Will Smith played football!

Ben: Will Smith is huge. My feet were like baby feet in his footprints at the chinese theatre.

Hanna: Michael, I agree. They are completely changing my viewpoint on football players.

5:40 -

Michael: The ref. is doing a dance to Grease! Go Grease Lightning! Go Grease Lightning!

Hanna: That movie is the worst. Who noticed what the ref. was actually saying? When's the commercial break? I want to feel like I am contributing!

First Commercial Break!!

Commercial 1

Hanna: Equating alcoholism to environmentalism? Fail.

Commercial 2

Michael: I love old women!

Ben: Snicker satisfies with their commercials as well.

5:44 Back to Football, just kidding, more commercials -

Michael: These commercials focus on what football viewers enjoy: beer, cars, and Fundamentalist Christian organizations.

Ben: That Honda looked like it was made candy. I wanted to lick it.

5:47 -

Hanna: My kids are never going to play football someday or any organized sport... They are going to play chess instead.

Michael: I can totally picture you carpooling children to a chess tournament.

Ben: I can totally picture your children never getting laid.

Hanna: Well...

5:50 -

Hanna: The Saints have a fleur-de-lis on their helmets... Which is a flower. Not very masculine.

Ben: Doritos commercial with the little kid and the hot mom was the best yet, easily.

Michael: Pat Benatar and commercials is a thumbs up.

Hanna: Tally of commercials that are actually funny: 1. Good job Doritos.

6:00 -

Michael: Touchdown!!

Hanna: From what I know, that was not a touchdown....

6:01 -

Michael: Touchdown! See Hanna? That was a prediction.

Hanna: Hey, that's the only thing about football that I know!

Ben: Payton Manning is adding to his already sterling hall of fame resume.

Hanna: Simpsons Coca Cola commercial. Cute.

Ben: Undercover Boss looks alright.

6:04 -

Hanna: Payton Manning is like the Ricki Stanzi of the United States.

Commercial break:

Hanna: Ok, too many Doritos commercials and kind of morally questionable.

Michael: I love autotunes!

Ben: Autotuning makes everything. For example: The Charlie-bit-me video.

Ben: Step 1 for a great bachelor party is to steal an orca.

Second quarter:

Hanna: Football breaks the space and time continuum by making 13 minutes last FOREVER.

Ben: The Saints need to start controlling the ball.

Hanna: They must have not said their prayers today. Oh!

6:18 -

Hanna: The "improved" version of the Super Bowl... I guess. I don't know I am just bored and the other two are getting super intense over the game. Here it is.

6:22

Ben: Hyundai wins again with a Brett Favre joke. The thing is, I can see him being entertaining to watch in 10 years still.

Michael: Commercials adhere to a lot of gender stereotypes. But I don't think anyone cares.

Hanna: I care. Commercials are portrayals and reinforces of values.

6:31 -

Hanna: And now is the point of the game where the people who don't know a thing about football get completely bored. I am contemplating a run to get a Ben & Jerry's pint... It seems like everyone's mind is wandering...

Michael: We are now discussing board games. Like the game of Life. and now we will probably discuss cereal. Like the cereal of Life.

Hanna: --or serial killers.

Ben: Football!

6:37

Ben: Dodge Chargers are not well made. You can't fool me, commercial.

6:40

Ben: Gene Simmons! What an old, money hungry man. Also, that TruTV commercial with Troy Polomaulu was really disturbing.

Huge goal line stop by the Colts. I think I woke Michael up...

6:44 -

Hanna: Banana Split Ben & Jerry's is what gets me through the Super Bowl.

6:46 -

Ben: "How about Lavender? How about not?" The third or fourth real good commercial.

Hanna: Sure, if you think stereotyping people is entertainment.

Sidebar with Cleverbot:

Who will win the superbowl?

Answer: The whole subject bores me.

Thanks Cleverbot.

Hanna: HALF-TIME!!!!! I love THE WHO.

AMAZING light show and a mean ukulele.

Ben: The Who suck.

Hanna: Ben is a scandalous. liar.

Michael: I am surprised that no one got a seizure because of the strobes lights. I was actually having a seizure, that's why I wasn't responding.

7:22 -

Hanna: Whoa they are in a fight! I wish I was literate in football to know what's going on!

Ben: Onside kick.

Hanna: Because I totally know what that means.

Ben: When a man and a woman love each other very much...

Hanna: Hopeless.

7:30 -

Ben: I would love playing slug bug with Stevie Wonder!

Hanna: Best commercial yet.

7:50 -

The Google commercial made Michael cry a little.

8:04 -

Ben: Payton Manning has to look at his underneath routes more. Because he is looking down the field too much.

Hanna: Sigh.

Commercial

Ben: Pop culture loves Arcade Fire.

Hanna: They're so hip!

8:13 -

Ben: Touchdoooowwwwnn Saints.

Michael: They should change their name to the New Orleans Voodoo Dolls. The New Orleans Flood Insurance.

Hanna: Michael, you're probably going to Hell for that.

8:18 -

Ben: If they call this conversion a catch, the referees are bent on ruining football. The superbowl must never end in a tie.

8:19 -

Ben: These refs hate the game of football.

Hanna: The NOs are winning!

Ben: I feel like this is going to be the iconic moment of Payton Manning's career.

8:23

Hanna: The coaches look so serious. I wish they would color the ball a neon color so I can keep track of it.

8:41 -

Current actions:

Ben is pacing around the room nervously watching the game and commenting in a southern accent.

Michael is sleeping.

Hanna is the only one left to provide sane commentary.

Last thoughts:

Michael: I enjoyed this experience with my best friends... I might repeat it if the players are hotter.

Hanna: I am never watching anything real on TV in its entirety.

Ben: Good game. Saints win. Now Indian food.

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Chelsea Handler may be one of my favorite people ever. Her show, Chelsea Lately, is a late night talk show on E! Her show is different than the typical late night shows. Sure, she's comedic but she does it in a sarcastic tone that is hilarious. At the beginning of her show, Chelsea and three other comedians sit at the round table and discuss celebrity gossip. After two round tables, Chelsea interviews a guest-- not caring what she asks. She's been known to ask questions like "Why couldn't you guys have pretended to be virgins?" and "What's that in your hair?"

The show wouldn't be the same without Chelsea's assistant, Chuy. She often refers to him as her "little nugget" due to his height. My favorite conversation between Chelsea and Chuy-- which just happened a few days ago actually-- goes as follows.

Chelsea: You're pretty healthy for a little nugget.
Chuy: They're called Flintstone vitamins, bitch.


Oh, Chuy.

Along with Chelsea's talk show, she's an author. Her first two books were on the New York Times best sellers list. My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands is her memoir. While Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea is a collection of-- what else-- humorous essays. I think what makes me love Chelsea's writing the most is her blunt delivery. Note: I've read both of these books, and both had me laughing out loud, giving me one of the best ab workouts I've ever had. Thank you, Chelsea, for helping me tone my body.

Her third book, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang, is set to release on March 9, 2010, and needless to say, it can't come soon enough. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang will be another collection of her essay's (that I'm sure are guaranteed to make your cheeks hurts). Such personal stories include discovering "The Feeling" during a sleepover and dealing with her sister who is a bit "off"-- which to Chelsea, means she's Mormon.

If you don't feel like picking up any of her books, get a preview of her in Cosmo. Chelsea recently began writing her own column "Are You There, Chelsea?" in Cosmopolitan magazine. It's just as great as her books; just pint sized.
--Josie Jones

The Bachelor Ups-the-Dorkdown, Sugary Sweet Overdose Ensues

Now on its 14th season, ABC's The Bachelor is still alive and strong, still chasing the American dream of finding a wife after eight weeks of excessive helicopter rides and force-fed candlelit dinners.

This time it's 32-year-old Jake Pavelka who's looking for love in all the wrong places, and though he's easier to look at than last season's Jason Mesnick, I'm starting to think Jake is perhaps more obnoxious than all previous Bachelors combined.

Fellow enthusiasts will recall that last year, Jason shocked audiences by choosing Melissa Rycroft, then breaking off the engagement on national television and asking runner-up Molly Malaney to give him a second shot. A ploy for record-high ratings? Maybe. But I felt Jason was an annoying little single dad nerd even before the finale, and this spectacle confirmed all pre-conceived notions.

So on the "twerp scale" –– which I now exclusively measure on a scale from zero-to-Mesnick –– Jake "the nice guy" Pavelka is starting to supersede even Jason's buffoonery.

This season the producers have tacked on an extra bit at the end of the show's title so it now reads- "The Bachelor: On The Wings of Love." This sticky-sweetness mimics Jake's squeaky-clean, sparkling-smile persona, who repeatedly reminds the camera how "outgoing" and "fun-loving" he is, then cries in sheer terror before a bungee-jump date.

Let us also address the remaining women on the show ––all of whom are willing to overlook the fact that Jake is blander than butter-less Wonder Bread for the chance at a diamond at the end, paid in full by the hopeless romantics at ABC.

Last Monday, Jake sent home 23-year-old Corrie after a one-on-one date in which she revealed she was "saving herself for marriage." Meanwhile, daddy's girl Vienna remains in the running and continues to say stupid things like, "I'm on cloud Jake right now" while adjusting her fake boobs.


If there's anyone best suited for Jake, it's the prim and preppy Tenley, whose clean-cut image is irritating but nonetheless seemingly-genuine. No matter who he chooses, all seem equally excited to ditch personal aspirations for a life of waiting for their pilot to return home, nervously wondering which stewardess he's fooling around with.

I guess that last bit was a little unfair. I'm just wrestling with how these entirely-too-young ladies can fall so quickly for a man who says "golly," wears tight leather blazers and form-fitting turtlenecks, and stares blankly in the face of dry humor.

But alas, that's why I'm not on the show. Because I swear I wasn't rejected in the first round of last summer's open Minneapolis auditions - who would wait in a five hour, 23 minute long line rehearsing irresistible answers to questions like, "what is love?" Definitely not me.

In the midst of a mis-guided Bachelor rant, I've almost forgotten my initial point, which is to make a bet with you all that by the end of this season, Jake will have out-Mesnicked even the Mesnick. And if you're still following me –– no matter how sweet or how phony ––you too will be riding on the wings of love 'till the end.

- Dee Fabbricatore

Damn you Hollywood! Damn you!

Yesterday, the Academy released their 2010 Oscar Nominations and I have one thing to say.

*The Blindside*? Seriously?

OK, I will admit, *The Blindside* wasn't awful. In fact, it was pretty enjoyable. Sandra Bullock gave a solid performance (I'd say the best of her career), and it was a feel good movie. But, no way was it one of the 10 best films of the year.

This year, the Academy decided to expand the Best Picture category from five films to 10, which I think is a great idea. It gives opportunity to other films that might not traditionally be considered "Best Picture" by pretentious academy members (like last year's *The Dark Knight*). Give the little guy a chance! That's what I say.

Sadly, this year hasn't been the greatest for movies, but it definitely hasn't been the worse. The Academy had a chance to pull from quite a few nontraditional films like *(500) Days of Summer*, *Moon*, or even *The Hangover* to fill that 10th spot. I know I would've liked to see Zach Galifianakis trotting down the red carpet in his tuxedo, aviators, and full beard.

But, no. Oscar dropped the ball. With the 10th spot, they decided to nominate the plainest movie in the bunch.

I promise, I don't have a vendetta against *The Blindside*, but I just don't get what was so special about it. Sandra Bullock's acting? Okay, yeah, that was pretty good, and she was nominated for Best Actress — so there, voila, covered.

But no, that's not it — give it a Best Picture as well! Hell, while we're at it, why don't we nominate it for Best Visual Effects! That's about as nonsensical as the rest.

Maybe I'm being unfair to *The Blindside*. After all, it was a true story and it felt good to watch, and what's wrong with that? What's wrong with feeling good about ourselves for once? Why does every movie that's considered good have to be sad? Well, that's not what I'm saying.

I just want to feel something when I watch a film, or read a poem, or see a painting. I'm not opposed to a feel good story, we've just seen *The Blindside*'s story so many times before. Give us something more. I want you to earn the right to evoke those warm fuzzies, and giving us the same story over and over again just won't do it anymore. It just won't.

If *The Blindside* happens to win Best Picture over deserving work like *A Serious Man*, *The Hurt Locker*, or even *District 9*, I'm done with the Academy. Finished. Over. They might as well join up with the Grammy's (which have become a complete joke), hand out all their trashy awards on one night, and save us the trouble.

TV Tuesdays

I like watching people stranded a mysterious island. I enjoy not even understanding some of the things that take place in the show I love. I want to find out who the wishy-washy Kate will choose- Jack or Sawyer? I LOVE Lost.

Lost may be one of the most twisted, confusing shows every created, but I cannot get enough of it. I was hooked back in 8th grade when I watched the first episode of the terrific plane crash. Six seasons later, I haven't missed a single episode. Does this mean I have any idea of what is going on in the show? No, but I continue to watch because I love the characters.

Don't ask me to explain anything. Ask me about the strong character development, the beautiful backdrop of the island, and the great suspense that accompanies every episode. That's why I love the show and will watch every episode starting tonight until the last one this final season.

Lost is not the only program that captivates me. I am sad to admit that I have found Teen Mom to be my favorite guilty pleasure. This also airs on Tuesday night making me a total couch potato.

Why I find myself cheering on or booing various teenage mothers is beyond me. For one thing, I love watching cute little babies no matter how old their mom is. Second, I guess I just like watching people's life. Once a reality tv hater, I now enjoy multiple reality shows includingKeeping Up With the Kardashians (but that's a whole other blog).

I cannot really explain my fondness for Teen Mom. Maybe I like watching things I don't understand or couples who are either really cute or arguing all the time. Either way, I like Teen Mom. I hope Farrah finds a man. I think Catelynn and Tyler are the cutest couple ever (interesting that the couple who gave their baby up for adoption seem the healthiest). I think that Teen Mom is fun to watch. And while it may not be on the same level as Lost, I will be watching it anyways.

-Sarah Larson