A Letter to Garth Brooks

Dear Garth Brooks,

I always knew you were a country superstar (I grew up listening to cassette tapes of "Long Neck Bottle" and "Friends in Low Places" in my mom's mini-van), but no one ever told me that you were Santa Claus, too!

Okay, so maybe you're not Good Ol' St. Nick, but your upcoming feat originally seemed like you'd need a little "holiday magic" if you hoped to accomplish it.

I'm of course talking about the promise you made us country music fans that you would perform 300 concerts worldwide — all in one night.

I thought, "This has got to be a joke."

Well, as your website proved, it wasn't.

So, Garth, let me get this straight. You're actually only performing in one location, the Kansas City Sprint Center, on Nov. 14 — but that concert will be simulcast to 300 movie theaters worldwide? And you're preceding that performance with eight other concerts at the Sprint Center the week before? Oh, and there will be an encore broadcast the following night?

Wait — and your fairly recently-wed wife, country star Trisha Yearwood, will perform with you, too? Someone pinch me, I'm obviously dreaming.

Wow. For a country artist who has been "retired" since 2001 — and hasn't toured since 1998 — you sure do know how to make a comeback.

And you're kind of on a roll with the comebacks. I mean, hey, congrats on setting music history by debuting straight to No. 1 on the Billboard charts with "More Than A Memory" last month! Oh, and also congrats on tying your own record of selling the most tickets in any U.S. city! A whole nine concerts selling out in under two hours, when you had originally only planned one show — but, of course, you kept approving more until all nine were on the books.

Oh, and thanks for pricing your tickets so reasonably! Only $32.50 for a seat at the concert and only $10 (plus costs) to watch it in a movie theater? At that rate, you're raking in a hefty chunk of more than $4 million for the shows and broadcasts.

But I do intend to be there. I've purchased my two tickets for the rebroadcast performance at the Sycamore Mall movie theater (definitely the last place I pictured myself taking in a concert while in college...or ever) in Iowa City, but I'm still left with a few questions for you:

1. Does this mean your "retirement" is over? I mean, there's the concerts and the broadcasts and the new single and the soon-to-be-released three-disc greatest hits album. Surely, you're back, right?

2. Tell me about these rumors of you headlining with the Eagles for the Super Bowl halftime show.

Okay, Garth, so what's the secret? You've virtually been in hiding the past nine years — only releasing a couple previously recorded, but not released, singles through Wal-Mart alone, and in the meantime marrying Trisha in 2005.

Tell me: is this your big comeback?

If so, I'm excited.

"Pass the popcorn, movie goers, 'cause Garth is coming to town."

—Brian