Wednesday, June 3, 2009

There are only two reasons to watch MTV:

...And it's "The Hills" and the MTV Movie Awards.

(Say what you want about "The Hills". Lauren Conrad is smokin': I will watch that woman do anything.)

The 2009 MTV Movie Awards happened this past Sunday night, May 31st, on (you guessed it) MTV. Andy Samberg of SNL-fame hosted, rather poorly. I mean, he tried, he really did. He elicited a few awkward laughs from me, but I just don't see his appeal, regardless of how disgustingly iconic "Dick in a Box" and "Jizz in My Pants" have become.

Anyway, this year's awards were unsurprisingly swept by Twilight. ...If anyone is surprised by that, you've been living under a rock. No, no: I think even people living under rocks knew. The awkward and ├╝ber-hot Robert Pattinson won Best Breakthrough Male; the awkward and untalented Kristen Stewart won Best Female Performance; the two of them awkwardly won Best Kiss; and the awkward and annoyingly hippie-esque Catherine Hardwicke (the quickly replaced director) accepted the award for Best Picture. (Seriously, she's always got this "Hey, man..." speech pattern.)

Nothing exciting happened. Sacha Baron Cohen--as his new alter-ego, "Bruno"--came flying down from the ceiling to land ass-first on Eminem's face, which was (shocker!) completely staged. Kristen Stewart dropped her popcorn statue and broke it, then accurately drew attention to how awkward she was. LeAnn Rimes and Chris Isaak screeched out Andy Samberg's SNL hits, with a decent assist from Forest Whittaker. Random audience members were mocked.

See? Nothing exciting happened.


(There's always a "but"...)

...One moment in particular made me crack up.

There's a tradition (that's not always honored by time or participants, by the way) at the MTV Movie Awards for winners of the Best Kiss to recreate that special moment.

When Twilighters Pattinson and Stewart came on-stage to accept their award for Best Kiss, well, it didn't go quite as planned. I think it might have been the only surprise of the night (for me, at least). Pattinson removes his gum and starts his awkward descent toward Stewart's mouth, and, at the last moment, she turns away. The look of shock, genuine or not, on his face had me dissolving into giggles.

Well, that, and when Keifer Sutherland started sobbing all over Ben Stiller. (Jack Bauer can have as many DUIs as he wants--I'll still get a happy shiver every time I look at him.)


Eric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eric said...

So I actually saw the movie Twilight (not by my doing) a few days ago and I can't believe how shitty it was. And the descriptions of awkwardness are correct.

E.D. Harris said...

It's IS awkward! So much awkward!