THE ONLY HALLOWEEN MOVIES YOU NEED TO SEE THIS WEEKEND

What's the best part about Halloween? Getting toothbrushes from your dentist neighbor? Realizing that every kid on the block has copied your Edward Cullen costume? The Exorcist chick getting a little too close to you in the haunted corn maze? Enough questions, the best part of Halloween is the excuse to watch completely graphic, twisted, psychotic horror movies, duh. Any other month besides October is just plain awkward to watch scary movies. (Who watches Paranormal Activity in February?) But everyone’s already seen every good scary movie out there, (You mean you haven’t seen Saw 3?) So in celebration for All Hallows Eve, I’ve accumulated the top five cheesiest scary movies to pop in the blue ray to get your terror on. Read on if you dare…

5. KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE (1988): Everybody hates clowns. They are the opposite of Raymond. (Insert laugh track here) And the title of a killer clown from outer space shrieks out pure terror. But when you throw in atrocious special effects, cheesy 80’s soundtracks, and the dude who plays Dean Wormer in Animal House as the skeptic local Sherriff, killer klowns become kute and kuddily. While the title basically gives away the plot, just listen to the voice over in this trailer for everything you need to know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fHXy8DpF5k0

4. HALLOWEEN 3: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982): Michael Myers is the epitome of Halloween. He is hands down the scariest bastard alive. His mask is an inside out William Shatner from Star Trek mask, that reeks of pure fear. He is the face of the Halloween franchise. So can someone please tell me what the hell the producers of Halloween 3 were thinking when they completely left poor Michael out of the third installment of the greatest Halloween movie series ever? Even when you take away the fact that Michael isn’t in the movie, you’re still left with the plot that revolves around children’s masks that possess kids to kill people. This movie would even make Michael cringe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tvVla5AHmA

3. THE GINGERDEAD MAN (2005): The-I mean-what? Gingerdead what? And did I just see Gary Busey shoot up a diner? Dude, just watch the trailer. (“What is it?” “Well it sure ain’t the #%$^& Pillsbury Doughboy!”)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsOtcEOkJ-I

2. LEPRECHAUN: IN THE HOOD (2000): It was hard to just choose one flick out of the Leprechaun series, but Leprechaun: In The Hood is just too much. Shout out to Ice-T, who probably got his role on Law & Order SVU just from keeping it together as his character Mack Daddy O'Nassas during filming. (Sidenote, if you loved Leprechaun: In The Hood, you’ll love Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood!) Here’s what should’ve been the trailer to this movie.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

1. Troll 2 (1990): Just because it features the single greatest climatic scene in cinematic history. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyophYBP_w4

Evan Clark

Finding Humor in a Realistic Nightmare

I have a newly found appreciation for the humor in the movie "Knocked Up."

Sitting at home, flipping through the channels during my break between classes, I stop

ped on a station playing "Knocked Up." I saw this movie in theaters and was repulsed by the concept of having a child with a stranger, and also, how realistic the portrayal of getting pregnant after a one-night stand is.

It is hard to tell what would be more frightening... finding out you are unexpectedly pregnant, or finding out that the guy who will be the father of your child is a jobless stoner without any motivation besides starting a porn website.

After I took a moment to step back and accept the movie for what it is supposed to be - funny, it was a lot easier for me to enjoy and separate it from reality.

The opposition in Alison and Ben's lives set up innumerable hilarious moments. The high-strung entertainment broadcaster, Alison, is constantly anxious, worried, and fearful of what will happen to her future and her baby's. Ben seems mostly concerned about how he will confront this situation like a man, despite his empty wallet and less than stellar resumé.

As a woman, it would seem that I would sympathize more for Alison in the film, which was true upon my first viewing. After watching it again, Ben's character is more likable than I ever considered. It would have been very easy for him to ditch Allison and leave her without any support in the situation. He actually deals with the opps! and helps Allison along the way.

For any haters out there, I recommend watching the film again. Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogan build a relationship with their acting and comedic abilities that make the film relatable, heartwarming, and more than anything - full of laughs.

But really, if you find yourself out to celebrate a promotion, or birthday, or pretty much anything worth celebrating, it might be smart to spare that last shot at the bars. It may be the difference between becoming a parent or maintaining a successful career.

A reminder of what you will find in "Knocked Up"

My Childhood

Hide and Seeeek! Personally, I can’t remember the last time I played. Due to this poster I might have to give it some thought. With my life over run by things like 500 dollar bills and paying student loans. Methinks I am not the only person that needs to unwind and unleash my inner child. And it’s free. Due to the economy recently that has become one of my favorite words. Which got me thinking what other games do I have fond memories of could I play with complete strangers with abandon? I came up with this list:

1) Dodgeball

2) Red Rover

3) Tag

4) Heads Up, Seven Up

5) Hot Lava

~Brittany Hall

The Burger Dilemma

I’ll admit it...I am a foodie. I care more about what type of aoli (a fancy word for mayonnaise) is on my cheeseburger than most. In fact I would go so far to say that I am the “Alton Brown” of my family. On any given day on the week most often you’ll find me watching shows like Man VS Food, Iron Chef America or Barefoot Contessa thinking up ways to turn the contents of my college budget refrigerator into a meal that could cause Hubert Keller to bow down in worship the wake that is my culinary greatness.

So when on a trip home to Des Moines I discovered the existence of a hamburger named “The Luther” I had to check it out, just for my own geeky sanity. Supposedly it is named after the departed R & B star Luther Vandross consisting of a ¼ lb. hamburger patty between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts, a slice of cheddar cheese and strips of bacon. There is a version in Des Moines that you buy for 5 dollars at The Iowa Machine Shed. At a whopping 1,500 calories per burger, eating it could possibly induce a coma.Wanting my curiosity satisfied I performed the dreaded Google search and discovered even more; regional varieties including fried eggs and chocolate covered bacon. Among the results was also a cartoon series named "The Boondocks" by Aaron McGruder which features the now famous burger in an episode titled “The Itis.” (the video clip is hyper-linked to the title)

What is it about the discovery of hot new food items that causes it to be linked high calorie, high fat yet oh so delicious is taking this to the extreme. For those of you who don’t know 2000 calories is daily requirement for most human beings….DAILY. So imagine having 3 of these one for breakfast lunch and dinner...Whoa boy! I am all for trying new things but not if it causes a heart attack. I am a wimp that way, but at least I’ll be standing after all the eating is done.

-Brittany Hall

Not sure I could walk a day in their shoes...

10 Conclusions about the "Teen Mom" Finale:

1. As attractive as Macy's ex-fiance Ryan is, he is not the ideal model of a father. Her heartfelt tears at their appointment to set a schedule for Bentley showed how dedicated she is to her role as a mother. Thumbs up Macy!

2. Gary (Amber's ex-fiance) has earned brownie points in my book every episode this season. I am proud that he grew a pair and stood up to Amber about a schedule for taking care of Leah. Also, the way that he stays calm when Amber freaks out at him is beyond me. I would be tempted to smack that fake tan and eyeliner off of her face as soon as she opened her mouth.

3. Congrats on the weight loss Amber, but you are still trashy.

4. Farrah and her mom aren't fooling anyone with their lovey family hugfest at the end of the episode. Farrah is still a brat and her mom is still a judgmental head case. I guess some things just don't change.

5. Both of the new beaus on the show, Chris - Amber's ex-con boy toy, and Julien - Farrah's hairstyling hottie, are weirdos. Amber's selection doesn't surprise me, she probably loves that this guy told her he wanted to marry her on the first date (creepy). But Farrah, you act like the sun shines out of your you-know-what and you choose to go out with this guy who colored your dull roots. Weird.

6. Tyler and Catelynn may not be the most attractive individuals, but their offspring must have gotten the best of both gene pools. Carly is adorable.

7. Bentley wins best dressed "Teen Mom" tot. His Run DMC shirt was bomb. Classic vintage style for this little guy.

8. Does anyone else find it interesting that the only couple who is still together since the show's original air date is the couple (Tyler and Catelynn) that no longer has their child? My sympathy goes out to Farrah and I can't imagine losing someone you love, especially when you are having a child with him. Props go out to Macy for dumping a loser like Ryan, but she loses a couple points for moving her whole life just for a new boyfriend, like Kyle. Amber needs to be medicated for her psychotic episodes, grow up, and realize that Gary was a good guy for her (he might deserve better though.)

9. I wonder if Farrah knows what her face looks like when she cries. She is a pretty girl, but that face is quite frightening. She should try to warn people before the tears start to flow.

10. I can't believe I am going to admit this, but I was close to tears when Tyler and Catelynn gave Carly the storybook with the audio of their voices. The visit they had with their daughter showed individual maturity in both of them, as well as maturity as a couple. It is clear that they made the right choice to keep Carly out of their houses, which are tainted with cigarette smoke and drug addicts (and I'm not talking about Tyler and Catelynn.)

Tune into all of the season 2 episodes of "Teen Mom" here.

KARDIASH ARREST

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