Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Winehouse Hoax (Prepare your tinfoil hats, its time for Cole's conspiracy theory)

Alright ladies and gentleman. We have each seen our share of celebrity comebacks with people like Dave Chappelle, the Spice Girls, and Bobby Jones (its a stretch, but the guy almost beat a computer before he went crazy). With the current press coverage of Winehouse, her return to the stage is seemingly no different.

One minor feature that characterizes these artists and alienates Winehouse is that they don't smoke crack. That's right, either Bobby Jones can keep a low profile or he didn't indulge. After her hit song "Rehab", Winehouse seemingly fell into a life of "drugs and disparity" out of necessity; necessity to please the public's demand for controversy. Paparazzi flocked around Winehouse, revealing shot-after-shot of her demise into a bleached-blond 90-pound train wreck. All held together by an alleged glue of crack and heroin.

As the Grammys approached, the press was even more curious and speculation raged the likelihood of Winehouse's appearance. Even during the show itself, the commentator expressed doubt as to her ability to perform at the end of the show. Then, in a wonderfully well choreographed performance, Winehouse gave a grand finale and acted drugged-out enough to seem legit in the eyes of the younger generation, while still thanking her mom solemnly to appease the older generations wish for her to be set straight.

Here comes the conspiracy theory. Winehouse made a 360-degree turn around with two weeks. The pictures above take her from a cracked-out mess to a sexy and cute London girl with a few problems. Modern make-up can do wonders, but this whole scene was to well set-up. The pit of despair followed by a dramatic Grammy turn-around fits too well and will defiantly provide for some solid record sales. Justify it to yourself: A record producer tells you that if you can get caught with some pot in an airport and bleach your hair, you will appeal to the hearts of millions. Hearts with MasterCards capable of buying $12.99 records. Would you do it.

Don't ask me twice.


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