Anna Blogs the Emmys

Let me begin by saying that I am actually very poorly informed as to TV this year--been busy what with medical crises, a flood here and there, and oh, yeah...wasn't there some kind of strike? Huh. Does that stop the DI Arts Blog from doing what it's here to do? Um, will Suede continue referring to himself in the third person on this week's Project Runway? (Too insidery? Just go with "yes.")

Also, I'm sorry to say that I joined the show an hour in, thanks to travel difficulties. I had previously known about the plan to have multiple reality personalities as the hosts and such. So, I tuned in at 8 p.m., as ready as I could be.

8:13--The fantastic "Laugh-In" reunion presents "Variety/Comedy/Music" to Jon Stewart and co., giving us yet another chance to hear how weird that theme music sounds when played by any other orchestra, ever.


8:19--David Boreaneaz wants to die. Lauren Conrad does have that effect, it appears--but he gets to introduce Mrs. Landingham! Formerly of "The West Wing," she'll never be anything else to me.

8:31--Oh, holy hell. It's like I made this "West Wing" tribute happen WITH MY MIND.

8:32--Awww. Martin Sheen looks so cute. I would vote Bartlet if I could, baby.

8:34--Speaking as someone who just made a leap in terms of her glasses, there's a lot of judgements to be made here tonight. The Academy prez--eh.

8:40--I'm sorry, Lance Bass just upped his gay at least 40 points. How many sparkles did they cram onto that tiny little sleeveless shirt?

8:43--If Lawrence Fishburne were wearing that fantastic red coat on every episode of "CSI," I might tune in.

8:45--They're like, obligated to show all the equally funny people during Colbert/Stewart: Carrell, Ricky Gervais.

8:47--Remember when Jay Roach was the director of the "Austin Powers" and "Meet The Parents" movies? Wow. Now they'll apparently let anyone shove VOTE OR DIE stuff down viewers' throats...gone are the days when it was sacred and Diddy-only.

8:49--Whoa. "John Adams" guy gets shut down when even a hint of partisianship is sensed. Ouch, buddy. The line about having "his own Abigail Adams" was cute, though.

8:51--"Beverly Hills Chihuahua," huh? Have the "Halloween" checks possibly run out so fact, Jamie Lee Curtis? Sigh.

8:56--Kathy Effing Griffin rules so hard. Don Rickles may be dying as we speak. Does it stop him from kicking the ass of everyone else in the room? Certainly not.

8:58--Adrien Grenier either has no idea who Don Rickles is, or is stoned out of his mind. For the benefit of the doubt, let's go with the latter.

8:59--OMG, Kathy has such a gigantic crush on Don Rickles. I love it. Also, The Amazing Race, blah, whatever.

9:02--Glasses decision on Tom Hanks: gross. Also, who is the conductor that gets the balls to play Tom Hanks off? Seriously? Seriously?

9:08--"Thanks to Howie Mandel's prattling, our bit has been cut." NEIL PATRICK HARRIS. JUST MARRY ME, GOD.

9:12--Don Rickles, schooling pretty much everyone in "Awesome Speech Giving." For me, the Clint Eastwood impression sealed it, and the line about his wife on the beach put things over the top in amazingness. Fantastic.

9:18--Macy's just put together a genius ad. Nice job, editing department. I want to go there now.

9:23--We at my house determine that Glenn Close is both looking fabulous and like she could eat us if she wanted to. Not, surprisingly, as unappealing as it sounds.

9:25--Charlie Sheen got nominated for Lead Comedy Actor? Come ON. Thankfully, Alec Baldwin wins, negating my need to kill anyone.

9:40--I dig Craig Ferguson so much. He needs much more work than he gets, and his delivery of this material just proves that. Brooke Shields, meh. But Tina Fey wins Lead Comedy Actress! Yay! "I want to thank my parents for giving me confidence that is disproportionate to my looks and abilities," she says in her speech, and yet proves it wrong by looking fab in that dress.

9:44--I am so, so done with this reality show host crap. Finish this and be done.

9:45--And they go to commercial. Funny, except when you realize that there's still more of this ridiculous nonsense waiting. Good LORD.

9:51--Before I can even get irate about anymore reality stuff, Mary Tyler Moore and Betty White appear to soothe the wounds. (HOW is "Two and a Half Men" wrangling all these nominations?)

9:55--This speech is making me wonder why I'm watching this monstrosity of a show when I could be rewatching the actual "30 Rock." Congrats, ya'll.

9:56--Tom Selleck manages to make cutting things short sound badass instead of bitchy. "Mad Men" takes the prize, and apparently I really, really need to start watching this. Sorry that Paul's rec wasn't enough and that I needed the approval of the lame ol' Academy to ring things in.

9:58--Jeff Probst, as the official winning host, bids us goodnight. Anna's official word: Meh. Good things happened, but the "old meets new" style they appeared to be going for with this show just left me wanting to bust out my old school DVDs and never have to endure another ad for a lame reality competition show like whatever show it is where the girl doesn't know her brother's secret crush. Um, hi? It's called a SECRET crush for a reason, TV personalities. Duh. Have to explain everything these days...

--Anna, peacing out after about 12 hours of travel, and obviously overjoyed to be back in the enfolding arms of the IC.