Sunday, February 7, 2010

Live on the Super Bowl 2010

The girl, the guy, and the gay will be giving you live commentary on the game of year. The guy is Ben Mcfarlane and he will be informing the world on what the heck is going on in the game, the girl is Hanna Rosman and she will be giving pop culture insight on the game, and the gay is Michael Marquez and he will be commenting on anything that goes on inside his head.

Game Prediction:

Ben: Colts
Score: 35 - 24
Colts, "because Payton is on the team."

5:00 -

Ben: "I don't understand why Jay-Z is here."
Hanna: "This is super intense. Jay-Z and Rihanna makes this seem like the beginning of the Grammy's than a sports game."

Michael: "I think the Super Bowl should have themes and they can all dress up in costumes. I think this game's theme should be dinosaurs and all of the fans can dress as dinosaurs and the football can have a dinosaur on it."
Ben: "With real or animatronic dinosaurs?"
Michael: "Both."

5:04 -

Hanna: "There is so much math for a sports game."

5:09 -

Sport montage -
Hanna: I can't hear what their saying!
Michael: So it's an angel versus a promiscuous horse?
Ben: Look at Drew Brees' birthmark!

5:12 -

Michael: I don't think Solomon Wilcots should have a patterned shirt with a patterned tie.
Ben: Dwight Freeney is fucked.
Hanna: ...Yes... Who's Dwight Freeney?
Ben: Dwight Freeney is a defensive lineman for the Colts. He's known for his speed and his ankle is injured, thus he is fucked.

5:15 -

Michael: It's been so long since I've watched TV that I don't know what commercials are new.

5:16 -

Michael: Aaah, football is so punny.
Hanna: The trophy looks like it is made out of chocolate.
Ben: Brian Waters wins! The Chiefs never win anything!
Michael: I love Queen Latifah!
Hanna: Yeah. She's pretty talented. Love her in Chicago.

5:20 -

Ben: Carrie Underwood. Finally. Michael was making me feel left out.

Hanna: That guy is crying. He loves America.

5:23- Coin Toss Predictions

Ben: Tails
Michael: Tails never fails
Hanna: Heads, so somebody in the prediction can be right.

5:26 - The coin toss

Hanna: So many people being introduced that I don't know...
Ben: Hey! I know that guy! Look at that guy's beard!

The toss: Head.

Hanna: I win!

5:30 -

Michael: Guys! Let's listen to it in Spanish!
Hanna: They just made the movie sound! the neeeeeerrrruuu! sound.
Ben: Football!

Ben's beginning insights into football at 5:32-

Ben: Fullback dive? You start the Super Bowl with a Fullback dive? I'm going to go back in time and slap someone's mother.

Whenever I see a little, old white guy in a Saints uniform I think of Morton Andersen.

Hanna: Football players sure know how to dance.

Michael: Dallas Clark is attractive. See here.

5:37 -

Michael: Football players are accidental gymnasts! I didn't know Will Smith played football!
Ben: Will Smith is huge. My feet were like baby feet in his footprints at the chinese theatre.
Hanna: Michael, I agree. They are completely changing my viewpoint on football players.

5:40 -

Michael: The ref. is doing a dance to Grease! Go Grease Lightning! Go Grease Lightning!
Hanna: That movie is the worst. Who noticed what the ref. was actually saying? When's the commercial break? I want to feel like I am contributing!

First Commercial Break!!

Commercial 1
Hanna: Equating alcoholism to environmentalism? Fail.

Commercial 2
Michael: I love old women!
Ben: Snicker satisfies with their commercials as well.

5:44 Back to Football, just kidding, more commercials -

Michael: These commercials focus on what football viewers enjoy: beer, cars, and Fundamentalist Christian organizations.
Ben: That Honda looked like it was made candy. I wanted to lick it.

5:47 -

Hanna: My kids are never going to play football someday or any organized sport... They are going to play chess instead.
Michael: I can totally picture you carpooling children to a chess tournament.
Ben: I can totally picture your children never getting laid.
Hanna: Well...

5:50 -

Hanna: The Saints have a fleur-de-lis on their helmets... Which is a flower. Not very masculine.

Ben: Doritos commercial with the little kid and the hot mom was the best yet, easily.
Michael: Pat Benatar and commercials is a thumbs up.
Hanna: Tally of commercials that are actually funny: 1. Good job Doritos.

6:00 -

Michael: Touchdown!!
Hanna: From what I know, that was not a touchdown....

6:01 -

Michael: Touchdown! See Hanna? That was a prediction.
Hanna: Hey, that's the only thing about football that I know!
Ben: Payton Manning is adding to his already sterling hall of fame resume.

Hanna: Simpsons Coca Cola commercial. Cute.
Ben: Undercover Boss looks alright.

6:04 -

Hanna: Payton Manning is like the Ricki Stanzi of the United States.

Commercial break:

Hanna: Ok, too many Doritos commercials and kind of morally questionable.
Michael: I love autotunes!
Ben: Autotuning makes everything. For example: The Charlie-bit-me video.

Ben: Step 1 for a great bachelor party is to steal an orca.

Second quarter:

Hanna: Football breaks the space and time continuum by making 13 minutes last FOREVER.
Ben: The Saints need to start controlling the ball.
Hanna: They must have not said their prayers today. Oh!

6:18 -
Hanna: The "improved" version of the Super Bowl... I guess. I don't know I am just bored and the other two are getting super intense over the game. Here it is.


Ben: Hyundai wins again with a Brett Favre joke. The thing is, I can see him being entertaining to watch in 10 years still.

Michael: Commercials adhere to a lot of gender stereotypes. But I don't think anyone cares.
Hanna: I care. Commercials are portrayals and reinforces of values.

6:31 -

Hanna: And now is the point of the game where the people who don't know a thing about football get completely bored. I am contemplating a run to get a Ben & Jerry's pint... It seems like everyone's mind is wandering...
Michael: We are now discussing board games. Like the game of Life. and now we will probably discuss cereal. Like the cereal of Life.
Hanna: --or serial killers.
Ben: Football!


Ben: Dodge Chargers are not well made. You can't fool me, commercial.


Ben: Gene Simmons! What an old, money hungry man. Also, that TruTV commercial with Troy Polomaulu was really disturbing.

Huge goal line stop by the Colts. I think I woke Michael up...

6:44 -
Hanna: Banana Split Ben & Jerry's is what gets me through the Super Bowl.

6:46 -
Ben: "How about Lavender? How about not?" The third or fourth real good commercial.
Hanna: Sure, if you think stereotyping people is entertainment.

Sidebar with Cleverbot:

Who will win the superbowl?

Answer: The whole subject bores me.

Thanks Cleverbot.

Hanna: HALF-TIME!!!!! I love THE WHO.

AMAZING light show and a mean ukulele.

Ben: The Who suck.
Hanna: Ben is a scandalous. liar.

Michael: I am surprised that no one got a seizure because of the strobes lights. I was actually having a seizure, that's why I wasn't responding.

7:22 -
Hanna: Whoa they are in a fight! I wish I was literate in football to know what's going on!
Ben: Onside kick.
Hanna: Because I totally know what that means.
Ben: When a man and a woman love each other very much...
Hanna: Hopeless.

7:30 -
Ben: I would love playing slug bug with Stevie Wonder!
Hanna: Best commercial yet.

7:50 -

The Google commercial made Michael cry a little.

8:04 -
Ben: Payton Manning has to look at his underneath routes more. Because he is looking down the field too much.

Hanna: Sigh.


Ben: Pop culture loves Arcade Fire.
Hanna: They're so hip!

8:13 -

Ben: Touchdoooowwwwnn Saints.
Michael: They should change their name to the New Orleans Voodoo Dolls. The New Orleans Flood Insurance.
Hanna: Michael, you're probably going to Hell for that.

8:18 -

Ben: If they call this conversion a catch, the referees are bent on ruining football. The superbowl must never end in a tie.

8:19 -

Ben: These refs hate the game of football.
Hanna: The NOs are winning!
Ben: I feel like this is going to be the iconic moment of Payton Manning's career.


Hanna: The coaches look so serious. I wish they would color the ball a neon color so I can keep track of it.

8:41 -

Current actions:

Ben is pacing around the room nervously watching the game and commenting in a southern accent.

Michael is sleeping.

Hanna is the only one left to provide sane commentary.

Last thoughts:

Michael: I enjoyed this experience with my best friends... I might repeat it if the players are hotter.

Hanna: I am never watching anything real on TV in its entirety.

Ben: Good game. Saints win. Now Indian food.

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