Sunday, August 23, 2009

It's true, I have a lot of feelings

I'm one of those super-emotional people who will never get tired of listening to sappy tunes, watching romantic movies, and reading books that bring tears to my eyes. Nauseous yet? Probably. But please, bare with me for a moment because I'm going to countdown the top five songs, movies, and books for people with feelings. With a little bit of added snark for those who don't.

Top Five Songs
5. "This is for Keeps" by The Spill Canvas. Because I can think of nothing more romantic then running after someone with no pulse, only to run directly into the sea and drown.
4. "Anthems of a Seventeen-Year-Old Girl" by Broken Social Scene. Because teenagers have so much angst that drastic measure must occur. For example, "talking trash" and "bleaching your teeth." Two very important things.

3. "Broken" by Lifehouse. Because the simliar to my pained soul, the inoperable clock is feeling a lot of hurt. Together, the two give me comfort through my tears.
2. "You Found Me" by The Fray. Because my over-emotional self can't leave the floor after you leave. Being a strong, independent, emotionaless person is just something I can't do.
1. "All I Want is You" by U2. Because it's true, all I really do want is you. And Bono. Mostly Bono.

Top Five Books
5. Dracula by Bram Stoker. Because sex and blood always manages to bring tears to my eyes.
4. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. Because we all wish our men would disappear every once in a while.
3. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë. Because who doesn't like hearing about an ugly chick who gets a man every once and a while.
2. sTORI Telling. Because Tori Spelling and her mom should make you feel good about your relationship with your family. Plus inside information on "Beverly Hills, 90210" is great in soothing your pathetically depressed soul.
1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Because who doesn't like wordy Victorian literature. I mean, it'll turn your saddness into bitter anger at the excessive language.

Top Five Movies
5. Moulin Rouge Because Absynthe is the cure to life's problems. Well, at least it'll probably make you forget them.
4. Dirty Dancing. Because hanging out at camp all summer being criticized for my dancing really is the time of my life. Really.
3. Ghost. Because love is so powerful it makes you hang around for a bit after you're murdered.
2. Titanic. Because I'll never let go, Jack. Until I get married and have kids, that is.
1. The Notebook. Because no one really believes that shit is possible. I mean, seriously.

So for all of you out there who absolutely detest feelings, I strongly urge you to avoid all contact with any of the above mentioned items. If they do happen to fall in your possession and you partake of their contents, please maintain your bitter and angry self. Don't let my feelings affect you.

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