Tuesday, August 25, 2009

PostSecret Secrets

In honor of PostSecret creator Frank Warren's lecture tonight at the IMU, the editors and reporters here at the Daily Iowan have decided to confess a few dirty little secrets of our own. Below is a list of *real* journalistic secrets from the newspaper staffers you know and love.

I find it liberating to pee in the shower.

I am the only person I know who can write out the entire chorus of “Mmmbop.”

I replaced “the one that got away” with the one I should have let go. And I still haven’t let them go.

When I was younger, I wished I had a brother instead of a sister.

I pretend to like hummus because I think it will make people like me.

I haven’t spoken to my father in 8 months. I’d like to pretend I’m okay with this, but it actually kills me more than anything else.

I hate mashed potatoes, they really freak me out.

I’m getting engaged and I haven't told anyone.

I once accidentally texted my crush, “I have the worst diahrrea right now.” He never came over for a movie night again.

Sometime in my middle school days I got into a fiery disagreement with my mom on the car ride home from someplace. Upon returning home and parking the car in the basement garage, I stormed ahead to the first floor mud room. To vent, I flung my sneaker off and watched as the shoe smashed against and shattered one of the back door window panes. A state of shock quickly turned into a mixture of panic and embarrassment. Thinking frantically, I arranged the sneakers together next to the other abandoned mud room footwear and skipped back to meet my mom just arriving up the stairs. I told her of the scene I came upon at the back door, not admitting the reason for it. Concerned, my mom called the police. The lone policeman questioned both my mother and me of any knowledge we had of the incident. The officer noticed that the glass lay shattered outside of the house, so “it must have been a blow from the inside.” Perhaps just a natural pressure force that bust the window, he suggested. After a little more dawdling, the officer left with the mystery still unsolved. I’ve never told my mother to this day. Who knows if she even remembers the incident… Not that she’s senile. I love my mom! :)

I had a sex dream featuring someone who is not my significant other last night. I liked it.

I try to add at least one pun to the newspaper every day.

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