Tuesday, December 18, 2007

do you have love?

After taking some time for myself to work through the five stages of grief, I am now ready to talk openly about last night's I Love New York 2 season finale.

If you know anything about me, you'll know that the results of last night's show were no less than emotionally devastating to me, given my intense connection to my girl, Tiffany "New York" Pollard. I watched her get her heart broken twice by a man mostly known for wearing giant clocks around his neck. All I wanted for her was the best. Season one obviously didn't cut it, so I was fully on board with a season two. Thus, I have been taking the journey with New York ever since the beginning, with a lot of screaming at my TV along the way.

The thing that I love about ILNY2, unironically, is the way that New York is so unapologetic about herself, however trashy she may be. She looks like Janice from The Muppets:

Fig. 1:

She has some of the most ridiculous post-implant breasts I've ever seen:

Fig. 2:

But neither of these things has ever stopped her from being completely secure. New York rarely expresses any self-doubt--she has clearly reached a mental place the rest of us could only hope to one day achieve.

Not only that, she's completely rejected any and all hateful terms that are typically associated with brassy, loud women who just might happen to enjoy sex a whole lot. She'll talk about wanting to jump Buddha (and really, who wouldn't?) for hours at a time, but call her anything less than a lady, and New York will be quick to either kick you off her show, or just go with the good old-fashioned slap to the face.

In this interview with TV Guide, New York was asked:
TV Guide: Some people think that you're a diva.
New York: If a diva is a woman that has an idea of where she wants to go in life, is overly confident, wears too much makeup, wears too many high heels and short skirts, then yes, I'm a diva.

Hell yes.

So, you might see that with the gigantic girl-crush I'm clearly sporting for Miss New York, how upsetting it is to me that she's chosen Tailor Made, the whiny, well-moneyed bitch of this season over Buddha, the only other person on Vh1's celebreality lineup as good at line delivery as New York herself, not to mention gorgeous and emotionally centered (hence the nickname). She seems to have gone for someone completely submissive to her, as opposed to someone on a more equal footing. Where I saw a challenge, New York saw nothing but difficulties in the future for her and Buddha. Maybe it's the idea that New York and myself actually don't share a brain that's most upsetting. Either way, I know I'll be soothing the wounds from this for some time...right around the time I Love New York 3 is announced.

-Anna, who is ALWAYS ready to end the day by asking loudly, "DO YOU HAVE LOVE FOR ANNA?" and being surrounded by a flock of hot guys, while a gigantic manservant brings out a silver tray with Bedazzled champagne glasses on it.


susan said...

ugh. i'm not ready to live in a world where weasels like tailor made win new york's heart.

here's some vh1 extras.


Jon Gold said...

Actually, I'm ready to live in a world without talentless half-wits like new york.

Anna said...

You're just mad no one would tune in for your reality show, Jon Gold.